Sex is a part of any healthy relationship or marriage. But it’s also not a one-size-fits-all situation. What works for you might not work for someone else. So, if you’re still finding what works in the bedroom or if you just want to spice things up – this article is for you.
In this article, we outline 3 very simple but effective ways to increase sexual desire and revolutionize your sex life. These tips can be utilized whether you are partnered or not.
1 Try stimulating libido products – for some they are game-changers
Both men and women experience what’s called responsive and spontaneous desire. Spontaneous desire seems to come out of nowhere while responsive desire is triggered by something that’s sexually exciting — i.e stimulating.
The vast majority of women (85%) experience responsive desire more often spontaneous desire. This means in order to get “in the mood” those who are responsive need to be stimulated in some way (physically, auditorily, or visually).
What does this mean for your sex life?
Well, if you or your partner are more prone to responsive desire – you should try to prioritize stimulation to respond to. Light the fire with things like foreplay, teasing, role play, or even stimulating topical products like Vella.
Women everywhere have been swearing by compounded “scream creams” or O creams. These creams are used topically and increase blood flow which can really light the fire of desire. (Think – female Viagra.)
You might also ask your partner how they like being teased. Some like to be stimulated with communication, touch, or visuals.
Someone who is more prone to responsive desire might not be overtaken by the “gotta have you” type of desire out of nowhere. With the responsive type of desire, you’ve got to respond to something.
It’s good to keep in mind that just because someone is not jumping into spontaneous desire mode, doesn’t mean they aren’t attracted to you. It’s just not how their sexual desire work. You gotta get them going if you know what I mean.
2 Get your cell phone out of the bedroom
We’re all in a one-sided relationship with our cell phones. We’re inarguably glued to mentally stimulating feeds, and cat videos. Taking the phone (and the distraction) out of the bedroom can really increase closeness and intimacy.
In today’s digital world, a lot of people are realizing this. So lots of couples are enforcing a strict “no phone in the bedroom” policy.
We’ve all gotten so used to receiving constant stimulation from technology that we forget to check in with ourselves and those around us.
Without a cell phone in the bedroom, your attention can be divided between yourself and your partner. Back to basics. This can increase closeness, open communication, and decrease stress.
Our phone is constantly fighting for our attention. And this is true of all technology. But it’s important to remember that our partner deserves more than the sliver of attention that is left after you divide it amongst the TV, your work emails, and then some to TikTok scrolling. After a while, we just don’t have much left over to give to our partner.
This problem is often a two-way street where both people are distracted by their phones and no one is really getting the attention they need.
If that sounds like you and your partner, try keeping your phones and tablets out of the bedroom for a month. See if you begin to connect a little more with each other. It might open a new door to intimacy, fun, and communication.
Instead, make your bedroom a sacred space where you and your partner can love on each other without distraction.
3 Breathe mindfully during sex – it’s another real game-changer
The benefits of mindfulness have been all over the headlines for years. We know, through scientific research, mindfulness and meditation are really beneficial for our mental health.
Some argue it’s also great for our physical health. Yogis everywhere know the power of the breath. If you’ve ever taken a yoga class you know that often each movement and yoga pose is paired with the breath. Hands go up, breath in, spine bends down, breathe out. This synchronized breathing is a very grounding exercise.
This type of breathing is also used in tantric sex breathwork. Tantric sex breathwork aims to help ground you into your body, deepen your connection to yourself and your partner and it can intensify your sexual experience.
Surprisingly, the simplest way to revolutionize your sex life is to breathe.
Often our breath is shallow and quick (aka chest breathing). With conscious breathing, the breath is deep and slow (aka belly breathing). Bringing this deep and slow breathing into your sex life can increase relaxation and decrease tension.
During sex, it’s pretty common to hold your breath, but it can actually be putting a damper on things.
Interestingly, proper breathing during sex can oxygenate your blood which is needed for an orgasm. Oxygen is necessary for sexual response.
So the next time you’re “getting on down” remember that steady, deep breathing can = a great “O” moment.
You can even try synchronized breathing with your partner; where you inhale and they inhale, you exhale and they exhale. This can be likened to emotional co-regulation exercises.
4. Libido stimulating products
After the stimulation comes the hard albeit exciting part of lasting longer during sex. These male enhancement pills are intended to boost libido and stamina, all toward better performance in the bedroom. Men who have taken the green Kangaroo pills say they work. Check them out and see for yourself.
Three ways you can spice up your sex life: try stimulation products, kick your technology out of the bedroom, and remember to breathe during sex. All three tips can increase desire and may intensify your sexual experience.
- Libido products are used by men and women everywhere. These work by increasing blood flow to the genitals – increasing desire.
- Cell phones are our biggest distractors. In the bedroom, where the magic happens, cell phones are just distracting us from our partners. Make your bedroom a sacred space where you and your partner can love on each other without distraction.
- A simple and free way to intensify sex and increase partner intimacy? Properly breathing during sex. No more holding your breath, try deepening your breath – you can thank us later.